Tackling the Subject Read online

  Gordy shook his head, even though he’d been thinking the same thing. “No. Sam would never hurt himself. He’s a survivor. No doubt about it,” Gordy said with a conviction he didn’t have.

  Rachel nodded and opened her door. Before she got out, she twisted back to Gordy. “You’ll give me a call, right? If you find out anything…”

  “Don’t worry. If I find him or hear anything, I’ll let you know.”

  She nodded, jumped from the truck and disappeared inside without a backward glance.

  Gordy was on autopilot as he drove toward his trailer. He’d been going step by step through the places they’d been during their time together. He thought he was missing something. It gnawed at him like a coyote on a fresh kill. He turned the corner, fishtailing down the road. With a thump, the biology textbook wedged against the windshield fell onto the seat beside him. Gordy stared at it for a second and realized the one place they hadn’t checked.

  He wrenched the steering wheel to the left and threw the big truck into as short of a U-turn as possible. He retraced his steps, ignoring any traffic laws. Slowing somewhat, he threaded his way through the maze of roads winding through campus. He got lucky and found a parking spot close to the library.

  Gordy shot past people walking at a normal speed as he almost ran across the wide sidewalks coming to the triple doorway. He shot through the entrance and to the elevator. He hit the button a few times and glanced at the deep red LED numbers. Third floor. Fuck!

  He glanced around, spotted the stairs and made a dash for them. The higher he climbed, the more urgent it became. He burst through the door to the fifth floor and stood gasping. Those closest to the stairs gave him an evil look, Gordy refused to let himself be affected.

  He made his way through the stacks until he came to the wide wooden desk Sam had been sitting at on their first meeting. He turned the corner, knowing he was right.

  Empty.

  He dropped his hands to the tabletop to keep him from collapsing to the floor as hopelessness overwhelmed him. He’d just known Sam would be here. He was shocked he’d been wrong.

  “Gordy?”

  His head snapped up to find a thin, scruffy face and a sweatshirt that had to be several times too large curled into one of the tiny single-chair alcoves on this floor. It took a few seconds for him to recognize his former boyfriend.

  “Sam? Is that you?” The sight in front of Gordy was shocking. The usually impeccably dressed Sam looked like a typical college stoner on a severe downward spiral. Gordy wasn’t sure what he would feel when he found Sam, but after the hours of searching, he was happy to have found him. And he was alive.

  Sam’s expression went from jubilant to hardened in a few seconds. “Yeah, it’s me. I’m fine. I need to study now. I have to pass the fucking classes to graduate.”

  “You don’t look so good, man. Where have you been staying?”

  Sam ran his hand over his face and seemed to realize his appearance. “Yeah, I guess. I haven’t felt up to the whole gay grooming regime. And there’s always some place to crash on campus, especially if you don’t care too much.” He gave Gordy a smile that never got to his eyes.

  Gordy moved closer and Sam held out a shaking hand to stop him. “Really. I’m fine. I got into the whole getting-ready-for-finals thing.”

  Gordy stopped, trying to decide what he should do. “Your parents are worried about you. They called me to see if I’d seen you. Rachel’s worried, too. We spent the night looking for you.”

  A tear ran along the side of Sam’s nose that he scrubbed away with the oversized sleeve of the sweatshirt. “Okay. Thanks. I’ll take care of it and make sure they don’t bother you anymore.”

  Gordy stepped a little closer, and Sam recoiled. “Honest. It’s fine. I’m sure I’m the last person on the planet you want to see. I get that.” Sam shivered, and he wrapped his arms around himself. “I was as big a jerk as possible the last time we talked.”

  Gordy considered Sam. “Yeah, you were.” Gordy took a deep breath, held it for a second before letting it out with a whoosh. “You were right, though. It’s not fair that I’m not as out as you are.”

  Now, the tears were a steady stream down Sam’s face but he said nothing else. Gordy took another step closer and noticed the sweatshirt. “My sweatshirt? I thought you’d burn all my stuff.”

  A sound like broken glass came from Sam. “I found it stuffed into the bottom of my bag the other day.” His voice dropped to a hoarse whisper. “It smelled like you, and I missed that.” He stared at Gordy for a minute and slumped into the chair. “I missed you. I love you.”

  The final emotional wall came crashing down. Those words didn’t cure everything, but they could work on the problems. Gordy moved until he’d wedged himself into the chair with Sam, put an arm around his back and leaned in close. “I’ve missed you, too. I want our relationship.”

  Sam leaned into Gordy and he sensed the shiver going through his body. After a few seconds, Sam wiped his face with his sleeve. “I don’t have much to offer. I may never be able to do everything you’d want.”

  Gordy kissed him on his cheek. “Have I ever complained? We can do whatever you’d like. I don’t want us to have another meltdown. And you’re right. I need to work more on being out.”

  Sam shook his head as he took Gordy’s arm in his hands and gripped him tight. “That was so far out of line that I didn’t think you could forgive me. You can’t be out to everyone. I get that. You don’t have the best safety net, and I attacked you about it.”

  Gordy shrugged but pushed himself out of the chair with a grunt of effort. He turned to Sam and extended his hand. “Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

  Sam smiled a little as he took the offered hand and unwound from the chair. “Is the funk that bad?”

  He waited while Sam gathered his stuff and crammed them into his book bag. When Sam stood, his expression said he was expecting an answer. Instead, Gordy held out his phone. “Call your mother first, then Rachel. I promised both of them I’d call when I found you. I don’t want either of those women mad at me.” He paused for a moment before continuing, “And, yes, you’re that funky. You have to shower before you get back in bed with me. I like your normal smell, but this is beyond sexy and appealing.”

  “We’re going to your trailer?” There was a little catch in Sam’s voice when he asked.

  “Yeah, if you’re okay with it.” He smirked at Sam. “Obviously, you don’t understand how to take care of yourself.”

  Sam smiled then stared at the screen on the phone. “I’ll text Rachel. She can’t blast me as far if it’s through a text message.”

  Gordy glanced at Sam but kept his comments to himself as he pressed the elevator button.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The early morning sunshine lit the bedroom as Gordy drifted awake. Sam was snuggling tightly against him. Just the thought of Sam’s scantily covered body curled along his caused Gordy to chub. While he wouldn't refuse something more intimate, he was satisfied for now. He’d been chewing on the issue he’d promised Sam he’d work toward. Coming out. He needed to do it. He knew it would be so much better to stop keeping his secret—his huge, life-altering, family-shattering, world-changing secret.

  “What are you squirming around about so early on a Sunday morning?” Sam asked as he wriggled even tighter against Gordy. When he took Gordy’s hand and pulled his arm over his chest, Gordy couldn’t help but chuckle. “What’s this? Am I your electric blanket?”

  “No electricity needed. One hundred percent organically powered.”

  Gordy leaned in and kissed the back of Sam’s neck. “I hate to ask when things are going so well for us, but how did yesterday’s counseling session go?”

  Sam snorted a little and pressed back against Gordy. “Fine, I guess. Same thing she always says. It wasn’t my fault. Guys can be raped, too, and being gay had nothing to do with it.” Sam sighed even louder. “It will take time, and there’s no magic number of days. I
t’s different for everyone. Same thing she’s been saying since I started seeing her as a freshman.”

  “All of which makes perfect sense. Baby steps, little baby steps. We want you to get better.”

  “You’re going to get tired of waiting.”

  “Oh, that’s bullshit. It’s not like we don’t do anything. It’ll be fine.”

  Sam slumped against the bed. “A few hand jobs and oral once. That’s not going to keep a man at home.”

  “I have no intention of going anywhere else for sex. Relax and trust me. Now, we need to talk.”

  “Nothing good follows ‘we need to talk’. What’s up?”

  “I’ve been thinking about what you said—about needing to come out.”

  Sam sat up on the bed and grabbed Gordy’s hand. “Babe, I was mad at myself and a complete ass. You shouldn’t take anything I said to heart. Please ignore that whole tirade.”

  Gordy shrugged and grinned. “It wasn’t our best moment, but you were right. I need to live my life.” He shrugged and a sad sigh escaped. “I can’t chance my scholarships, so I still need to be careful around the other players.”

  “Does anyone on the team know?”

  “Nate. But he’s known for years.”

  “No one else?”

  Gordy considered for a moment then shook his head. “Everyone else is a jerk—or too afraid of Coach Miller for me to trust. He’s made it clear he doesn’t want any of ‘those people’ on his team.”

  “Do you think your family would tell the coaches?”

  “No, no way. However they react, they won’t want anyone else to know.”

  “Okay, you have a plan, though.” Sam sat for a moment. “They aren’t going to hurt you, are they?”

  Gordy started to answer, then closed his mouth. He stared into space for a minute before turning back. “My mother’s going to unhinge. She’s extremely religious, and gay is a big sin to her. The rest of them I’m not sure about. Dad doesn’t agree with a lot of what Mom says, but it’s not like there are many same-sex couples living in the backwoods of Oklahoma.”

  Sam kept his silence as he ran his fingers over Gordy’s chest. Gordy was enjoying the intimate moment but hadn’t finished with the discussion they were having. “Sam…”

  He slowed his hand and shifted his gaze until their eyes met. “Yeah?”

  “Would you go with me? To tell my family?”

  Sam inhaled, held it for a few seconds then let the air bleed off. “You think that’s a good idea? After showing up with your boyfriend, it changes the whole conversation. They’ll say I’ve seduced you.”

  “Maybe not. I can be stubborn. But I’d like moral support. It would be nice if someone was on my side.”

  Sam considered Gordy for quite a while. A weight lifted when Sam nodded. “I will on one condition. We get a hotel room. I’m not staying at your parent’s house. They need time to get used to the idea, and we’ll want a place to recover.” Their eyes locked. “But, yeah, I’ll be your wingman.”

  Gordy chuckled. “I don’t think you quite have the term wingman nailed down, but thanks for agreeing to come for moral support.” He pulled Sam to his side and kissed his neck. Since they had gotten back together, Gordy had been careful to not press intimacy with Sam. They had been sleeping together, and it had been several days since he’d awoken to find Sam asleep on the built-in because he was feeling too confined. The help he was getting through the university did seem to be assisting his recovery, even if he hated to admit it.

  Sam pressed closer until their torsos were tight against each other. He draped his arm around Sam, who nestled his head against Gordy’s shoulder. He enjoyed the intimacy and was willing to give Sam all the time he needed. Gordy was contentedly scratching Sam’s back when he started to speak.

  “So, any more favors?” Sam asked.

  “Nope. How about you?”

  The silence drew out, but Sam had heard him.

  “Gordy?”

  “Yeah, Sam.”

  “I’m pretty horny this morning…”

  A grin stretched across Gordy’s face but he wanted Sam to make the moves. “Oh? And did you have something in mind to fix that problem?”

  “I thought we might…like…try a little fun?”

  “That sounds good. You lead the way and I’ll follow. Anything you want to try works for me. If we do something and it doesn’t feel right, we’ll stop. No big deal. And if it gets too intense, we can stop the whole thing. We’re just having fun. Okay?”

  “You sure? Because I can’t…”

  Gordy leaned back in and kissed Sam’s ear. “It will be good. So long as I’m with you, everything is fine.”

  Sam’s hand shook as he trailed it across Gordy’s chest. Gordy flipped the sheet off them and enjoyed the warmth of the eastern sun pouring through the window above. Where it hit the hair on Sam’s thighs, there was a golden aura. Gordy reached lower, cupped his hand on the back of Sam’s knee and drew his leg on top. His tight thigh and wonderful texture seeped into Gordy. Sam darting his hands across his chest sent another delicious layer of pleasure over him.

  As the sensations built, Sam bent lower, flicked the tip of his tongue against Gordy’s nipple and scraped it with his teeth. His response was immediate as blood pumped into his shaft. He cupped Sam’s ass cheeks and squeezed them. The mutual sensations had him throbbing when Sam slid his hand lower to toy with the thick, dark trail running from his navel.

  He surrendered to the sensations and rolled to his back with a sigh. “That’s good. Really good.”

  Sam lifted his head, his face flushed and he was panting. “How about this?”

  With a final tug at his treasure trail, Sam spread his hand over Gordy’s crotch and rubbed his palm up and down the length of hard cock trapped in Gordy’s compression shorts. He bucked a few times, wanting more of what Sam was dishing out. Gordy released himself to the pleasure.

  He reached out and gripped Sam’s hand, stopping him. Sam’s face twisted in sudden panic, which Gordy dismissed with a chuckle and a wave. “Nothing’s wrong. Actually, it was too good. I was about to lose it.” He ran his fingertips along Sam’s jaw. “I’d like to turn the tables on you.”

  By way of reply, Sam rolled to his back, closed his eyes and opened his legs. Gordy leaned in and kissed his chin, enjoying the tickle of copper whiskers against his lips. A soft sigh filled the air as he kissed his way down the center of Sam’s throat. As he reached the dip at the base, he flicked his tongue out and ran the flat of it across the pale skin. The flavor of salty musk washed through his mouth.

  Sam groaned and his head relaxed, opening his neck to Gordy. He ran his kisses higher until he found a tender spot below Sam’s ear piercing. He licked, bit and sucked until Sam realized what he was doing and jerked away. His eyes shot open and he gave Gordy an accusatory look. “You’ll give me a hickey.”

  Gordy turned his head with two fingers and smiled. “Too late. You’ve got a hickey.”

  “Gordy! What am I going to tell people?”

  “That you turned your boyfriend on so much that he couldn’t help himself.”

  Sam grinned and relaxed back against the bed. “So hot that you lost control, huh?”

  “Yep, too hot.” Before Sam could register another objection, he slipped his thumbs over Sam’s small pink nipples and rubbed across them. Whatever Sam was about to say was lost in a groan that resonated through Gordy’s body. He pressed his lips against first one nipple then the other until both of them were little more than hard red nubs of flesh. He pressed his lips down Sam’s flat torso and teased lower. He moved to the side, tracing his fingers through the bright red hair trailing from Sam’s navel. After a few more tugs from Gordy, Sam’s hard cock was jerking inside his confining briefs.

  “You’re a cock tease.”

  “Oh? You think so?” Gordy said.

  “Cock. Tease.”

  Gordy grinned, crawled between Sam’s legs and gripped his package. “Still think I’m
a tease?”

  Sam’s cock flexed like a freshly caught fish, and he was breathing in gasps. Gordy waited far longer than he wanted to in order to give Sam time to stop what they were doing. But he seemed much more interested in the sensations flowing through his body than any fears.

  Gordy tugged the briefs down, a fraction of an inch at a time, until Sam’s hard shaft was trapped in the final bit of cloth. Sam’s expression was one of hunger as his chest heaved. Gordy tightened his grip and tugged off Sam’s briefs. The hard column of flesh swung upward, trailing a translucent strand until it hit Sam’s stomach with a wet smack.

  Gordy crawled slowly each deliberate movement taking him closer to his goal. He paused when he could move no farther and Sam spread his legs.

  “You ready to find out why we wanted to get all the damn testing done so we don’t need rubbers?”

  Sam nodded, and his cock twitched. Gordy eased closer until he pressed his nose into Sam’s ball sac. He inhaled and held his breath to enjoy the scent before releasing it. He darted his tongue out and licked the base of Sam’s cock. From there, he moved higher, coating the underside of the long shaft with spit. He slipped Sam’s foreskin upward until it covered the knob then nipped at it, tugging it with his teeth.

  Sam quivered under the attention. “Gordy.” He gasped out. “I’m about to lose it.”

  Gordy leaned down, stuck his tongue in Sam’s ample foreskin and flicked along the edge of the crown. Sam made a low growl and tensed as Gordy stroked him from tip to base in a slow release.

  “Fuck! Do it. Stop teasing me.”

  Gordy chuckled but kept up his pace. Sam lasted for several minutes before his muscles locked and, with a guttural groan, the first thick strand of white landed across his stomach. The next jet hit with a splat on his face and was quickly followed by the third strand. From that point onward, Gordy felt as if he was holding a water hose. By the time the last of the cum dribbled from Sam’s dick, he’d sprayed himself from crotch to forehead. His breath came in gasps as Gordy leaned back to enjoy the scene of pleasure he’d created. He leaned across Sam’s chest and ran his tongue through a large strand before leaning forward and kissing Sam.