Tackling the Subject Read online

  When he glanced over, Sam was glad to see the typical happy expression back on Gordy’s face.

  “We should get something to eat. There’s a local place down here you’ll like. It’s called Burgers and Fries. Best hamburgers in town.”

  At the mention of food, Sam’s stomach growled, not a surprising response considering neither of them had been hungry all day. It had been the stress playing with them, but now they were starving.

  “They better be well stocked. I’ve seen you eat when you’re hungry.”

  Gordy laughed but didn’t disagree. A minute later they were parking at a typical small-town takeout joint. The parking lot was huge for such a tiny place. Gordy found a shaded spot to the side to keep the pickup from turning into an oven while they ate then walked with Sam to the building perched on a corner of the lot. They stood in front of the menu as Sam tried to decide. He glanced at Gordy and found him staring with a big happy grin across his face.

  “You must already know what you want, so tell me what’s good.”

  “Maybe so. But everything’s good. I’m getting the triple cheeseburger basket. The chili dogs are tasty, too.”

  Sam studied the board for a minute and smiled at Gordy, who was acting more like a nine-year-old in town for a treat. This place was more about memories than the food. He glanced again at the menu board and decided.

  He followed Gordy to the window and listened as he told the girl what he wanted. Once he’d finished, he motioned to Sam. “We’re together, so put his meal on the same ticket.”

  The girl turned to him. Sam leaned closer. “Yeah. Umm. How about a foot-long chili dog, fries and a shake?”

  “What flavor?”

  “Oh yeah. Vanilla, I guess.”

  Gordy leaned in close and whispered, “Vanilla, yeah. Right.”

  Sam swatted him like a pesky fly as the girl looked up. Gordy paid for their meal, and it seemed only a few minutes before bag after bag of food was passed through the window to them. Sam glanced around, not sure where they would eat. Gordy pointed toward the wooded area behind the diner. “They have tables along a little creek. Let’s eat out there.”

  They rounded the building and found the place Gordy had described. It didn’t take long for them to tear the bags open and devour their food. Sam didn’t realize how hungry he was until he took his first bite. The next few minutes were spent shoving food into his mouth as fast as possible.

  “Mind if I join you?”

  Sam’s head shot up like it was on a spring. He relaxed to see Gordy’s younger brother.

  “Hey, Jeff. What’s up?” When he waved at an empty seat, Gordy nodded. “Sure. Take a load off.”

  Jeff draped himself over the attached bench. Sam couldn’t help but notice how different the two brothers were from each other. When Jeff winked at him and ate off Gordy’s food, it confirmed his impression. Gordy rolled his eyes and moved his meal out of reach. When Jeff reached for Sam’s fries, he cocked an eyebrow and picked up one of the plastic knives. “Just so you understand the rules, I stab people who eat off my plate.”

  Gordy snorted but kept silent as Jeff shot him a charming smile but didn’t try again. He turned back to Gordy as he crossed his arms and leaned against the seat. He gave Gordy a shit-eating grin that left Sam wanting to scrub it off his face.

  “So, thanks about the whole gay thing. You took the heat off me for at least a little while until the parental units remember to watch me as close.”

  “As much as it pains me to tell you, I didn’t come out to the family to distract them from your stunts.”

  Jeff dropped his gaze to the ground, and the quiet stretched out. When he looked back at them, Sam saw the family resemblance with no trouble. He’d changed to a serious expression when he met Gordy’s gaze.

  “I’m serious, man. What you did took a lot of balls.”

  Sam almost piped up with a crack about Gordy’s balls but stopped himself just in time. This was a serious moment between the brothers, and he didn’t need to disrupt it.

  Gordy had been staring at his sibling but nodded. “That was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’ve heard too many stories about how coming out can go wrong. Some of them will never get over it, but I’ve done what I needed to. I can’t tell everyone yet, but this is a big start.”

  Sam reached up, took Gordy’s hand in his and gave it a squeeze. “You did good. Come out however works for you. Telling the world over Facebook isn’t for everyone.”

  He slipped his hand off Gordy’s and glanced over to see how Jeff dealt with their private moment. He found Jeff staring at the ground with his face having turned a bright crimson. Sam studied Jeff as he spoke.

  “I don’t know if I’ll ever have the guts to tell them,” Jeff said in a low voice.

  Gordy scowled at his brother. “Don’t try to tell me that you’re gay. You have boinked any girl that will let you crawl between her legs.”

  Jeff nodded slowly. “There’s a time when a guy wants fish, but sometimes nothing satisfies like beef.”

  “No way. You’re fucking with me.” An angry glower grew on Gordy’s face, but Sam had noticed something about Jeff, and he waved Gordy down. “He’s not bullshitting. Are you, Jeff?”

  Gordy’s brother shook his head and he met Gordy’s gaze. “I’ve been looking online. I think I’m bisexual. It’s kind of hard to tell. I seem to be attracted to all kinds of people.”

  Gordy still didn’t seem appeased. “You’re just milking this so I think you aren’t the biggest pussy hound in Ardmore. You’ve never been with a guy, have you?”

  Jeff looked as uncomfortable as Sam had seen him so far, and his answer almost disappeared in a gust of wind. “Yeah, I’ve been with a guy. It’s different—but good.”

  “No way! You’re lying. Who was it? If you aren’t fucking, you’re playing video games with Charlie.” Gordy stared at his brother and blurted out. “Charlie? It’s Charlie?”

  Jeff glanced around and hissed. “Holy shit, would you keep it down?”

  Gordy dropped his volume, but Sam could tell he was just starting his tirade. “You’re a horny seventeen-year-old who’d make it with anything on two legs and now you’re trying to find some excuse for your behavior.”

  Jeff flipped Gordy off with both hands and started to leave. “Fuck you, you sanctimonious prick. You want everyone to accept that you like guys, but you classify me as some kind of pervert because I don’t fit in your category of gay. Well, fuck you and the horse you rode in on. Or does that mean I have sex with horses? You should tell me how it works, genius brother.”

  Gordy inhaled, his glare turning dark. Sam stood, a palm toward each of them. “Stop it. Just stop it. This is a fucking stupid argument, and it’s stopping right now.”

  He focused on Gordy. “Your brother came out to you. You should be honored that he trusted you, not ripping him a new asshole.”

  Jeff started to speak but Sam cut him off, “You’re no better. It’s tough to label an identity. Some gay guys identify as bi at first and settle later to gay, but it’s equally valid to be bi. You’ve gotta give people a little time to get use to the new information.”

  Sam waved his hand in the space separating the two. “But this? This bitching? It’s stupid, and you’re hurting your family. Stop it and talk.”

  They gave up their staring war at the same instant. “Do you have feelings for anyone?”

  Jeff shrugged then sagged back into his seat. “Charlie and I have been buddies since forever. But his family… Well, he’s afraid they’d kill him. He’s sure they’d throw him out. We have to be careful. I’d do anything for him, but I don’t know if we’re more than friends with benefits. Girls are good, too, but it’s different. It’s not like being with a guy. Not just the equipment, either. It’s… I don’t know how to explain it.” His gaze hardened for a moment. “And I haven’t had sex with that many girls—only a couple. Charlie and I were together then, too. He kind of knew, but we never talked about what we were.�
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  Gordy glanced first at Sam, who only arched an eyebrow. Then he turned to Jeff. “Sorry that I was being a huge ass. You feel however you do about other people, and I have no right to tell you otherwise.”

  Jeff shrugged. “We’re better helping each other. Otherwise, it’ll be a miserable life.”

  Gordy stood up and opened his arms. “Is a hug okay?”

  Jeff rolled his eyes before grinning. “Of course.”

  He wrapped his arms around Gordy and squeezed. It must run in the family because that hug looks a lot like the one Doug gave me. Gordy let go and stepped away. He reached down and pushed what was left of his food toward Jeff.

  “Want fries?”

  * * * *

  The road didn’t seem as long and narrow as yesterday when they’d driven toward the Hager ranch. But today he wasn’t afraid of the backlash of an angry family against their golden boy’s lover. Gordy’s mom would learn to live with it. She wouldn’t brag about making a quilt for her son and his husband, but she would tolerate him to see her son.

  The pickup hit a deep pothole and tossed Sam against the windshield, bringing his attention back to the present. They were traveling down an aged county road that hadn’t had the blacktop repaired in several decades. Ridges of white stones peered through the tawny and green of early spring. With red cattle moving from one tuft of grass to another, tails lazily snapping away flies, it was an idyllic setting.

  “When did your family move here?”

  Gordy glanced at him and realized he actually wanted to know. “Late eighteen hundreds. They came up from Texas when the Indian Territory lands was sold off.”

  “Wow, almost a hundred and fifty years. I have no idea where my family was at that point in history. Maybe still in Ireland.”

  They rode quietly for several minutes before Sam spoke again. “Think any of my ancestors were gay”—he turned to grin at Gordy—“or bi?”

  Gordy chuckled and playfully punch Sam on the shoulder, a little harder than Sam expected. I’ll leave that subject alone for a while. He rubbed his shoulder but when he looked at Gordy, he was considering the question.

  “Well, both sides of my family came from the south. There were all kinds of bachelor uncles and spinster aunts, so who knows? As for anyone who’s bi? I have no idea. If anyone knew, it didn’t make it into the general family history.”

  They bounced again as Gordy tried to dodge another set of holes, with more success. Sam sat back to relax and Gordy started again. “If I remember from my freshman history and sexuality class, the Celts didn’t have a problem with same sex pairings, so you’d have been in good company, at least before Christianity came along.”

  “And when might that be, oh-source-of-all-knowledge?”

  “Hmm, fifth century, I think—Saint Patrick and all that good stuff.” Gordy sat for a few moments before shaking his head. “Hannah is like dealing with Morgana. She’s determined to screw up everything.”

  Sam started to say something then dropped his gaze. He glanced up to find Gordy watching him. “What?”

  Sam waved him off and shook his head. “One of those times when I need to keep my mouth shut. Don’t worry about it.”

  With lips pressed into a short, thin line Gordy glared at Sam. “Just tell me. Please.”

  Sam considered being difficult, but another glance at Gordy confirmed his initial choice would be a poor one. “Okay. But remember you insisted. I told you it was stupid.”

  “Got it. Now, what?”

  “It’s Carman.”

  Gordy’s face glazed over in confusion. “What’s Carman? What the hell are you talking about?”

  “Carman is the evil witch from Irish mythology. Morgana is the witch from the King Arthur stuff.”

  With a blank face, Gordy stared at Sam. The pickup hit the gravel shoulder and lurched sideways. After a few seconds of chaos, Gordy had the truck stopped, and his forehead was resting on the steering wheel. Sam reached closer to Gordy’s shaking form, afraid he’d injured himself, but Gordy snorted and it echoed through the cab. He tilted his face toward Sam and let the tears of laughter roll down his cheek.

  “You’re correcting my mythology?”

  “Yes,” Sam agreed with hesitation.

  Gordy twisted his head and tapped it against the wheel with his body still shaking with laughter. After a few more seconds, he gasped out, “Can we agree she is a witch, regardless of mythos?”

  Sam’s muscles unclenched as he relaxed. “I can go with that. But let’s get back on the road. I’d like to be headed north before anything bad happens.”

  Gordy backed up, slammed the vehicle in first gear and dug his way out of the loose gravel. He raced through the other gears until they were again shooting down the road. The silence that enveloped them echoed their tension as they got closer to the ranch. By the time they turned into the entrance, their unease had grown by a huge factor. The truck rolled to a stop, but neither of them made a move to get out.

  “It’s about the same as yesterday, maybe even a little better. Right?”

  Sam stared straight ahead but nodded. “Yeah. About the same.”

  Still, they sat, waiting. Sam realized two figures had left the house, and Gordy tensed. He studied the two for a few seconds then muttered. “That’s Charlie with Jeff, isn’t it?”

  “Oh yeah, that would be Charlie.”

  Sam watched as the two walked toward them. Gordy rolled down his window when they were close. They studied the younger pair, and Jeff grinned. “Relax, big brother. I haven’t caused any trouble. Just thought I’d let you know everything’s cool.”

  “So Mom and Dad are okay?”

  “Seem to be, yeah. Hannah still looks like she’s been sucking limes, but it’s been years since she was happy. Heather’s probably sewing you a rainbow flag, but you knew she’d be on your side.”

  Gordy cocked his head a little and flicked it toward Charlie. Jeff narrowed his eyes, leaned closer and Sam struggled to hear him. “Don’t. I wasn’t kidding. His dad might kill him. Charlie’s terrified that they’ll find out.”

  “Why is he with you?”

  “We’ve been friends since forever. It just happened. But I swore I wouldn’t tell anyone, so you can’t, either.”

  Sam studied the other young man. He was tall and slender, his light blond hair in one of the latest styles, but something was wrong in his stance. Not only did he keep his arms folded across his chest, but he stood with anything other than confidence. His pressed white long-sleeved shirt looked as crisp as he looked defeated and desolate. Sam kept an eye on him while Gordy and Jeff talked in whispers. Whatever he was dealing with, it wasn’t good.

  “Ready to go inside? It’s getting hot out here.”

  Sam glanced away from Charlie, who was a huge puzzle to Sam. “Sounds good. Let’s see how things go.”

  Sam popped open his door and followed Gordy and Jeff into the house. He stopped at the open doorway and turned back to Charlie, who paced across the narrow sidewalk. Sam worried about the boy, but they’d met all of five minutes ago, and he had no reason to trust Sam with anything serious. But Sam couldn’t help himself, he felt like he had to say something.

  “Charlie. You coming in?”

  He stopped in mid-stride and his gaze fixed on Sam. He stood there for a minute before taking a single trembling step toward the house. Once he was close to Sam, he whispered. “You’re Gordy’s boyfriend?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And people don’t hate you?”

  The question startled Sam, and he considered giving an easy answer. But he stopped himself. Charlie deserved a more complete response.

  “Most people don’t care. Some are supportive. But some people? Well, some people hate me, but I don’t understand why.”

  “My daddy says gay people are going to hell.”

  Sam felt a too-familiar twist in his gut. “Being gay is not going to send anyone to hell. I don’t think God messes up when he makes people.”

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nbsp; Charlie moved at an even more frantic pace until Sam thought he’d shoot apart like an old-fashion clock. But his shoulder sagged, and he stood staring at the ground. Sam let Charlie calm himself before stepping closer. He let his hand hover then realized such familiarity might not be welcome. He let his hand drop but stayed beside Charlie.

  “Let’s go inside. It’s just the Hagers. You’ve been over here tons of times.”

  Charlie nodded and followed behind Sam as they entered the dim interior of the house. All Sam heard was the quiet hum of the air conditioning and a conversation going on in the next room he couldn’t quite make out. He stood next to Charlie and wondered where everyone had gone. The whole Hager clan flooded the room at once. Gordy’s dad flipped on the television to catch the game with his favorite state team.

  “Dad, you’re being a traitor again. You’re supporting the enemy. Traitor! You’re kill’n me!” Gordy said.

  His dad frowned and motioned him into silence. “This isn’t like a real game. I recorded it and already know who wins. Besides, I always cheer for State when you play them.”

  Gordy shook his head as if it were the end of the world, but Sam saw from his almost-invisible smile this was a familiar taunt between the two of them. Gordy’s mother went back into the kitchen and Hannah and Heather soon joined her while the guys watched the game. The first quarter was close to ending when Jean came to the door, drying her hands on a tea towel.

  “Turn that noise off and wash up. We’re putting dinner on the table.”

  Doug hovered for a minute before clicking the remote and plunging the room into darkness. Without a word, they filed to the bathroom to wash up for dinner. Gordy and Jeff led the way, horsing around as usual. Their father cleared his throat and the two truants calmed down. It got to his turn, and he motioned Charlie ahead of him. “Go ahead. I need a minute or two alone in the bathroom before I wash up.”

  Charlie nodded and stepped in front of Sam. At first, he was staring vacantly into space but then the sight before him registered. There were spots of pink across the white shirt on Charlie’s back. Horror filled Sam when he realized some of them seemed to be stuck.